"It sucks when all i want is your attention but you seemed not to know it"

Throughout those 3 months of waiting, i can't help but look away everytime i see you in school, my mouth won't even want to move to smile to you because i'm afraid that you won't smile at me in return. I wanna text you but i'm afraid you would find me annoying. I wanted to call but i'm afraid you'll give me a sarcastic answer or reject. I wanna talk to you, but i feel so stupid talking to someone whom doesn't even care about me. Those tears that shed is a sign that i need him in my life. No one knows how many times i cried because of this yes i'm not strong i will just break down when i feel scared. I myself can't count how many times i cried using one hand. I didn't cry to ask you for sympathy i just want you to know that i'm sincere and would give my all just for us to be bestfriends again. 3 months without hearing your voice. What if you didn't give me that 2nd chance i guess i'll just be sad huh. well actually i wasn't that desperate actually but everytime i see you in school i'll just close my eyes and pray hoping miracle will happen today hoping that you will start the conversation today but i disappoint myself everyday i nearly gave up i nearly wanted to move on and forget about you but then i stop and think of all the things we've did those memories stuck on my mind. And every single day i tend to feel the disappointment. Like "Why am i even waiting for you to talk when i already knew that you won't" so day by day i always tell myself to give up but in the end i didn't. So every day waiting for miracle to happen until that friday. Sister, yaya asked me to follow her to garden plaza and join them. So i agreed i knew that he'll be there. Awkward moment and also embarrassing moment la of course but at the same time i'm really happy why cause i get to see your face even if you're not going to talk to me. I can see your smile, your laughter. Can hear your voice that's enough. Until we played a game and you mention my name okay i should skip about that. The part when i stand up and my skirt were wet was the most embarrassing moment when i shout then i was like "omg ______ is here, why am i shouting" then i went to sit somewhere far from him which is beside Ijal and i start to blabber nonsense to him about my skirt. Then i get to know that his pants were wet to i was like "Hahahahahahahahahahahahah serve you right" but i didn't dared to said that to you so i told it to Ijal. So basically that friday was a happy day for me, miracle does happen if you don't give up easily. Allah heard my prayers Alhamdullilah so i'll cherish this friendship all d' best for N's which is coming soon. Let's go and study together :')