So i realized that in another two days times, it's me and Syahmi's 4th monthsary. What a waste :') But it's okay, i just hope you'll find someone better than me, right. You make me feel like the reason we broke it is all my fault. My fault YELAH. It's been so long since i see your face, i wouldn't know what would be my expression when i see your face, next time. Love? Hate? No feeling? Oh tak eh? I still have all our pictures in my phone, i didn't want to delete it, you see. Every picture of us has a memories, behind it. Every time i look at it, i will remember the times we started to talk, when we fit into a small chair and i rested on your shoulder, your head rested on mine. How we take pictures together, how we talk, how you looked into my eyes, how i love your smell, that hug. You see, we're not fated to be together, we never are. It's been two times we tried to make our relationship strong, but in the end, it never will be. Someone better is waiting for you, out there. Someone whom will tolerate with your behavior. Someone whom can understand you better. Someone whom will never make you jealous. My flaws.................................you can't accept my flaws. But what is the reason that i can accept yours? It's because my feeling towards you grew every second of my life, i want us to be forever, but it's never, and eventually i start to give up, you give up, we gave up. Until now, i don't know what you think when you hear my name But i don't care cause Insyaallah one day when you see my face then you'll realize that 'damn she really loved me. I should have stayed'. I really hope you're happy. This feeling towards you never dies. 100110-260911 this feeling never dies...................................... Sial la emo nye. Haix diam lah.
So i met laughing ass just now, i can become mental going out with her, dragged her hand, and slide on the slippery floor. Cute right i know OH. Nobody knows how much i miss her. How i miss her jokes, her stupid face. Her irritating voice, miss you love you muah hahahahahahh. Currently waiting for her to call me. Last night, talked about malam pertama when we get married with yaya. Hais tak senonoh ni kita. Shh a few more days to school. Goodnight! xoxo.

Why do I even bother to expect a call from you, expect a message from you, expect anything from you. Even when I know in the back of my mind that you aren’t, I still constantly check my phone for your calls and text. All I do is disappoint myself, sometimes I walk away from my phone leaving it for an hour or two feeling big and bad like a boss not giving fucks but then after all that I run to my phone with a smile on my face with that deceiving feeling of knowing that you either called or texted, only just to find myself with a frown and a reason to keep my head down. It’s almost like I have my back turned walking the opposite direction from you, but my little big heart pulls my shirt trying to stop me and tell me that I’m not doing the right thing. I don’t really know what I’m doing from this point on, I’m kind of incomplete without you. Bye. 

 Yeah we squeeze into a chair. We shared a chair. We didn't want to sit separately. Dah lah bye lah bodoh lah nak sedih sedih ni

Labels: Syahmi Azrinizam